It was about 4 years ago. I was working a booth at a trade show. We had been conversing with people all day. But with minutes to close, a young man approached our booth and I was instantly smitten. He had a beautiful smile and a southern drawl. We ended up meeting for dinner and drinks after the conference. He was charming and engaging and the evening flew by. In the end he said to me in earnest and with a bit of excitement. "What are you doing on October 26th?! I'm going to be in Chicago. We should meet up there!" Chicago being roughly half way between Tennessee and Toronto, our respective homes.
"What?! That's insane!!! Are you crazy? I can't meet up with you in another country...." The words flew out of my mouth in the instants that I thought them. And then this; "Who do you think I am? I'm not the kind of person who just takes off to another city to see someone they've just met..." Through incredulous laughter I managed to get this out. I've always been friendly, and talkative but I was never a risk taker. I liked to have a plan... and a plan B... and maybe even a plan C. Spontaneity terrified me. In the days after our encounter I kept replaying those words in my mind "I'm not the kind of person...." What kind of person was I? I hadn't really opened myself up after my last (and arguably my first) real relationship had ended - after 6 years of back and forth. I dated, first date after first date. I was a 29 year old with a good, secure job. I loved to travel, my childhood had been filled with it, but realized I had done very little of that since about half a decade before. What was I doing? When did my life become so... stagnant? so predictable? Suddenly, it dawned on me that I wasn't the kind of person to have such adventures, because I had not yet said yes to the opportunity! The only reason I wasn't "that kind of person" was simply because I had CHOSEN not to be, whether by actively or passively letting chances like these pass me by.
At this point October 26th had come and gone. Then, one morning I awoke to an email from Porter. Seat Sale on flights to Chicago... I reached out. I said yes.
Let me be clear: Saying "yes" does not mean being reckless. While I was doing something that made me uncomfortable to some degree, it didn't make me feel unsafe. It's important to note that testing your limits is not the same as crossing your boundaries. Listen to your inner voice, your gut, your intuition. It will not steer you wrong. I went to Chicago - Home of deep dish pizza, an afternoon at the aquarium and a late night poetry slam. It was the birth place of a new me - a woman who said yes to things - and didn't count herself out prematurely. So many wonderful adventures have followed. Solo travel to Costa Rica where I trekked cloud forests and fed a toucan. Iceland where I hiked to an abandoned army base 10 miles from the arctic circle. Buying a bicycle to learn to ride in the middle of the Nevada desert... It didn't go well! But at least I tried. I've said yes to many things I didn't initially think I could do since that first fateful time. Growth. That is what this is called. I've gained confidence and learned so many new things about the world, others and myself. If I hadn't said "yes", if I didn't continue to do so, I'd be no different than that 29 year old me living a "same old, same old" life. And, I guess that would be ok... I mean, it would be safe... but would it be joyful? I am so much happier when I have chosen to do something out of my comfort zone, and proud of myself when I am able to achieve that which I didn't think possible. I'm not confined anymore. My life is bigger now. So, now I ask you... What haven't you said yes to? and what are you telling yourself about why you can't be the kind of person who does?
Chantal Wall
