How many times have you had an idea – a great idea! – and then dismissed it because you didn’t know how it was going to happen?
How many times did you hear that as a young person - or said that to the young people in your life? You probably didn’t even think about it, or intend to be discouraging – we’re busy and kids ask a lot of questions and have a lot of big ideas. “I’m going to be a basketball player when I grow up…” says the young girl whose family members are all shorter than 6 feet. Or “I’m going to live in a mansion with a pool and have 10 children” says the child to parents who are struggling to feed two kids. What do you hear the parents saying back? Hopefully something like ‘That’s really interesting! Tell me more about that” OR “What will the house look like? I can’t wait to visit you and swim in the pool!” But often the adult responses aren’t that encouraging. Which voice do you hear in your head? There is a difference between setting people up for failure and allowing them freedom to think big and open to opportunities.
We are conditioned from a young age to figure out HOW things will happen and much of the time, we dismiss our ideas because they seem so far from our current realities and results. This conditioning came from other people – good people, but they were operating within their own limiting beliefs, their own mental programming – and these truths aren’t necessarily our truths. The adults in our lives at that time are not to blame, they were doing their best with what they knew at that time, and probably thought they were trying to help, to manage our expectations, to keep us from getting hurt. While others are responsible for creating the programming currently controlling your life, YOU are responsible for changing the programming to live the life YOU want. And as you become more educated about these tools as an adult, you can provide different experiences for the young people in your life.
Here’s a funny little example of how this can work. My husband and I don’t like our boys to have too much sugar. Of course it’s bad for their teeth, but they also have enough energy without it!! A few years ago at a local fun fair we wouldn’t buy them cotton candy…they were disappointed and our eldest announced that he was going to get some anyway. We just said something like ‘that’s nice, honey’ and thought no more about it. Well he and his brother found money in the grass, and convinced friends to give them tickets and sure enough they got their cotton candy! This may seem like a small example but it illustrates how when we LET people find a solution the HOW will appear. We didn’t shut down the idea, and our boys didn’t know HOW they were going to get their sugar fix…but they were determined to get it!
What is it you really want? What are you so passionate about you will search through the grass, talk to new people, ask for help, and more to make it happened? Don’t try to figure out how it will happen. That’s not your job right now – and the fun is in figuring it out! Let go of the how, and just LET. The art of allowing is a marvelous thing.
Lisa Hardess
647-215-9436
President of Hardess Planning Inc.
(Bob) Proctor Certified Consultant
HHW Branch Director – Toronto Central