Optimism, like so many positive skills that help us live joyfully, must be practiced daily in order for it to be an effective and transformative. We all can recognize an optimistic person, they look at the bright side of things, don't feel overwhelmed when things don't go their way, celebrate life grandly and generally are upbeat, hopeful and confident about their future.
To a not-so-optimistic person, optimism can feel a little fake, too good to be true and often unachievable. If doubt and worry are a constant, it is difficult to feel hopeful in our lives. When we are dealing with challenging situations it becomes very easy to lose sight of any of the good things in our life.
When clients come to see me and have lost sight of the positive we focus on practicing optimism as a way to create change in their lives. Optimistic thinking not only helps us be more happy when things are going well but helps us cope better when times feel burdensome.
Here are 10 ways we can practice optimism in our everyday lives and create space for being positive, becoming uplifted, and living hopefully!
1. BE AWARE Being mindful of our thoughts and deliberate about what we choose to focus on will give us insight into whether we are spending too
much time feeling and thinking negatively. Awareness opens the door to change and is a great first step for positive behaviour.
2. GET UNSTUCK Once we notice our negative thinking we now can begin to choose differently. When we dwell in the negative, we start believing it is a permanent state. Spending time thinking of positive things that have happened to us breaks the 'broken record' cycle and starts allowing us to see things differently.
3. REPLACE Moreover, trading negative thoughts for positive ones further deepen our optimism practice. At first this may feel forced or fake but in time we will be able to swap out our pessimistic thinking genuinely and see the good in any situation.
4. USE IMAGINATION Worry stifles optimism. If we constantly feel the future is not going to work out, there will be a problem or we will be hurt in some way it is difficult to see the good in life. Imagining things going well and focusing on the possible good outcomes, instead of the disastrous ones, creates positivity that helps us make better choices on a daily basis.
5. VISUALIZE When we create a vision of our future where we see a task or situation play out successfully we are much more likely to have that outcome happen. Having the 'dress rehearsal' in our heads, focusing on all the details (what we look like, feel like, who is around us, etc) helps our mind to focus on those details and look for possibilities to make them come true! The more vivid the better!
6. BE RESILIENT Part of being positive is learning to be okay with disappointment. We must be able to accept that displeasure and sadness are a part of our lives, but are NOT our lot in life. Expressing and feeling our emotions when we feel things have not gone our way allow us to move forward to experience new things. We also begin learning to cope with disappointment as temporary and specific instead of feeling it is always what we are dealt.
7. BE PRESENT One of the most significant ways to deal with disappointment and create positive coping skills for challenging times is to live in the here and now. When we spend too much of our time regretting our past and stressing out about what negative things might happen in the future we tend to believe ALL situations will end up like something negative we've experienced, and therefore drag our past into our future. Living in the moment allows us to quiet our mind and focus on what is happening now.
8. LEARN FROM OTHERS Joining positive and inspiring groups, such as Happy Healthy Women, connecting with a professional Life Coach, or immersing ourselves in personal growth materials, such as books, webinars and movies, helps us to become more versed in optimistic ways. It is very important to follow and learn from others who are practicing optimism on a daily basis so we can be guided by their actions and begin to practice from their teachings.
9. BE SELF-COMPASSIONATE When we are kind and gentle to ourselves we are better able to move on from mistakes or challenges. Self-compassion allows us to be forgiving and understanding, which in turn provides us with a clear path to new opportunities.
10. BE GRATEFUL Fundamentally all positive skills we possess and practice stem from a place of gratitude. Optimism and gratitude go hand in hand. When we are grateful for the things, situations and people in our lives we are automatically creating optimistic thoughts in our minds. Writing down daily gratitude is a great way to solidify the positive things happening in your life.
As with any of the tools we wish to have in our lives, optimism takes daily practice. Using these tips will definitely help develop a new positive outlook and will begin our shift toward optimistic thinking. Sometimes the challenges feel too big to handle alone and may require us to turn to a trusted friend or coach to help us sort it out. If you are facing a difficult time right now and optimism feels like a distant or even overwhelming possibility for you, know you absolutely can turn it around! Paying attention to your thoughts, spending some time imagining things differently, knowing you are not alone in facing challenges and most of all being kind to yourself are all very good places to start from! And as an optimist, I definitely believe you can do it! xo karla
Karla Smith is our Toronto~West Branch Director and a Certified Personal Life Skills Coach who supports people struggling with transitional phases and crises they are facing in their lives. Together with her clients, she helps uncover personal blocks and past traumas, teaches new tools and skills that create positive shifts, and sets and implements goals to transform clients toward empowering and joyful living.
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